Where should you leave your dog when you go shopping?
The barking lot!
I bet that lot sure makes a lot of noise.
What do you get when a chicken lays its eggs on the top of a hill?
Egg rolls!
So does a goose lay a goose roll? Doesn’t have the same ring to it.
On what day of the week do chickens hide?
Fry-day!
Thursday is the weekly spa day.
How do you make a hot dog stand?
You take away its chair!
Or you could just ask it to stand up. It’s a much more pleasant solution for all parties involved.
This is my step ladder.
I never knew my biological ladder.
The custody battle must have been insane.
What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador!
Now that’s a tongue twister. Try saying 5 times fast!
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus!
At least it’s not a minus. That would be awkward.
What did the buffalo say to his son at the school dropoff?
Bison!
Ok but imagine a teenage buffalo trying to get out of a car. Lol.
What does a baby computer call its father?
Data!
I wonder how it eats…in megabytes?
Which knight invented King Arthur’s Round Table?
Sir Cumference!
Was he in cahoots with Lady Diameter?
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk!
But not a run!
What does a clock do when it’s hungry?
It goes back four seconds!
I’m laughing at 60 BPM.
What did the triangle say to the circle?.
“You’re pointless!”
Dang, somebody has a superiority complex
I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think he must be plotting something.
Jam, I’m watching you…
What shape is usually waiting for you inside a Starbucks?
A line!
And it feels like it goes on forever
Why was math class so long?
The teacher kept going off on a tangent!
So true, so true.
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